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Dearly, Beloved – It’s Off!

Today I finished the first pass proofs (I still call them galleys, but I’m weird that way – I think I just prefer the vaguely piratical word), and tomorrow they’ll get a final once-over and then be conveyed via bike to the post office, because I’m thirty years old and I still don’t drive. (Ray Bradbury is my hero in more ways than one.) This is basically the last thing I have to do before the sequel to Dearly, Departed emerges on September 25th.

Sending off a book to be published is a little weird, for me. I’ve done it twice, now, and I can honestly say that my emotions have been the same both times. I’m afraid I just don’t get excited at this stage, all teary-eyed and eager to watch my little darling toddle off into the world. I don’t see my books as “my children,” and I’m afraid I don’t understand the sentiment. (It’s one of those things that works well for other people, but not for me.) At this stage, having been through upwards of six rounds of revisions, having devoted 12-hour days to copyedits and proofreading, all I can see are the book’s flaws. Because that’s all I’ve been looking for. It’s hard to describe just how much of writing involves tearing yourself apart, second-guessing yourself, scrutinizing even your most fundamental stores of knowledge – for instance, I routinely end up doing things like checking the definition of the word “crimson” to make sure it’s the right shade of red, when I know perfectly well any shade will do! It’s a bit like gaslighting yourself. I think you end up a little crazy by the end of it.

Does Beloved have awesome stuff in it? Absolutely! (Blood! Blood everywhere!) My judgment isn’t a true one, at this stage – it’s one born of exhaustion. I felt the same way about Departed for a while, and now I adore it again. And I’m very happy to finally be done with the main bout of work, able to turn my attention to continuing the series and writing other things. But I’m also a little sad to see the pages go, to know that’s the end of it. I hate that part, too. It’s the shutting of the door on book two, knowing that there are only so many more to go. The end of the process is always bittersweet.

In COVER NEWS, I’ve seen the final front cover, and it’s amazing! I like the turn the design took. I’m holding off on revealing it because we’re all waiting for the back cover, where a character other than Nora will lurk. Also, I’m told that when ARCS ARRIVE, I’ll be getting my own store, so we’ll start that process soon.

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Event: Steampunk World’s Fair!

I’m headed to SPWF May 18th to 20th – I can’t wait to see everyone! (I am told that a zombie has been resurrected and hauled in a van to the festival so I’ll have an escort, and there may or may not be a wedding? Also, I owe gifts to Magpie Killjoy and Eli August. I love giving gifts. And I challenge you to find a pair of men with more awesome hair.)

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Event: AetherFest!

I’m heading out to San Antonio tomorrow to attend AetherFest! My suitcase is crammed with dresses and I can’t wait to arrive (although I’m not looking forward to re-ironing them). I’ll be participating in a panel and reading on Saturday, so stop on by!

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Event: CCRC Spring Literacy Banquet

I’ll be reading at the Chautauqua County Reading Council Spring Literacy Banquet on May 1st at Webbs in Mayville! I’m so honored to have been invited!

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Event: Ad Astra – Not Attending

Hi, everyone. I’m so sorry to have to do this – I was so eager to meet Canadian readers, and so happy to be invited – but I’m afraid that I will not be able to attend Ad Astra this upcoming weekend.

I have chickenpox.

I know, right? I want to facepalm myself into oblivion just typing it. I’m twenty-nine. TWENTY-NINE. And I currently look like Patient Zero. Chickenpox is the current working theory – I went to my doctor on Wednesday upon noticing a few spots (and thinking, “Oh crap, I have a convention coming up, C’MOOON PRESCRIPTIONS”) and was given steroids because neither of us had any idea what it was, which I honestly think made it worse. I ended up having to go to the emergency room on Friday, where I was given antivirals. I feel better now, and I’m waiting on final confirmation of a viral culture. I’m not in immediate danger, but I’m still fairly uncomfortable and still, I believe, actively contagious at this stage.

The good thing is that, for whatever reason, I no longer itch – and the itching was never very bad. The bad thing is, to quote Amber Sweet from Repo! The Genetic Opera: “My face looks like a crime scene.”

I apologize for not being able to attend. Thank you to the fantastic Ad Astra staff, RH, and the pirate-esque emergency room doc who talked about extreme blood loss with me.

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Swag and You!

First of all, I want to thank everyone who weighed in on the initial post. It really helped me get a better handle on what it is I want to do. You guys are awesome!

So, for the uninitiated: I’ve been getting questions about the availability of paper swag for a while, now, ranging from requests for bookmarks and postcards to questions about how readers can get my signature on their books (the answer is, of course, a bookplate!). Unfortunately, I am not Scrooge McDuck (holler, 90s kids), so I can’t produce and send these things off the way I’d like to, which would be liberally, at no cost to readers.

After reading your comments and discussing the matter with friends, I’ve come up with the following compromise:

 

1. SASE. In the next week or so I’m going to sign up for a P.O. box where anyone can send a self addressed stamped envelope which I shall return full of swag.

2. Bi-monthly giveaways, which will give people (including international readers) the chance to win free swag.

 

Unfortunately, I think opening a PayPal account for postage would be a little too complicated (I don’t need even more tax stuff to worry about, thanks!), and it still feels too much like accepting money, to me. I figure we’ll try the compromise for a few months and see how popular (or not) the program is. :D

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Twisted Freaks Need Love, Too – RESULTS!

Aaaand it’s over! Just to re-share, these were the stories we were voting on:

 

Camel spiders, suggested by Stella

Living brain, suggested by Flo

Cordyceps fungus, suggested by Bri M

Flesh-eating disease skeleton, suggested by Alyssa

Twisted earth elemental, suggested by Elie

(Legal foo: All stories and characters © Lia Habel 2012.)

 

And the results, as of 11:50 a.m. on February 21st, 2012 ARE:

Skeleton! - 36%, 118 votes!

Camel spider! – 19%, 61 votes!

Earth elemental! – 16%, 53 votes!

Fungus! – 14%, 47 votes!

Brain in a vat! – 14%, 46 votes!

 

Which means that our winner is Alyssa! Thanks so much for your ideas, for your votes, and for your kind comments (although I am merely the instrument; I think all the credit is due to the wonderful participants who came up with the wild ideas!). This was fun – maybe we’ll do it again sometime!

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Swag and You – What’s Your Opinion?

Hi guys! Now that the madness of editing has passed (for now), I have time to sit down and address some promotional issues. One thing that keeps popping up is the availability of bookmarks, signed postcards, bookplates (basically, my signature shipped straight to you!), and other paper swag.

Now, I would absolutely love to be able to send out swag willy-nilly. I think it would be great fun. I love getting things in the mail (I love the old-fashioned nature of mail, period) – it comes from being somewhat reclusive, and from spending parts of my childhood in semi-remote areas. I just love the thrill of finding something special in the mailbox. And I love sending people little presents. So what’s the issue? Why am I not doing this as we speak?

The issue is cost. Unless they hit the big time, unless they’re really lucky, writers are not rich people. I am incredibly fortunate that my writing has gotten me to a place where I don’t have to wonder how I’m going to pay my bills each month. I can barely begin to articulate how grateful I am for that. But I’m still not rich. And all of the swag postage, all of the swag production costs – those are mine to shoulder. My publishing company doesn’t reimburse me for such things. Luckily enough, I just did my taxes, so I can tell you that I spent exactly $512.71 on postage last year (shipping out free books, swag, things for contests, etc.) and $550.85 on the production/purchase of the swag itself. That’s all out of my own pocket, and that’s without advertising the availability of swag. I’m sure there are authors out there who pay much less. I’m sure there are authors out there who’d glance at these figures and tell me I’m being miserly and cheap. (I often have that fear, myself – that I’ll be seen as cheap for worrying about costs this way.)

Now, I’m  happy to pay for bookmarks and to provide things for contests. I like the chance to make people happy, and it is good marketing. But there also comes a point where I begin to worry about costs, simply because – hey, I’m human. And this is the real world. This is why I haven’t yet made a program available whereby I ship out paper swag, because I’ve been trying to come up with a way to ethically balance the cost of production and shipping. Yes, ethics is a huge part of this. Personally, I never want to accept money for a signature, or money for a piece of promotional swag. That seems wrong to me. There’s also the fact that I have (thankfully!) fans the planet over, and shipping outside of the US is very expensive.

So, it’s been hard trying to come up with options. Which is why I’m turning to you guys. What are your ideas for how we could accomplish a program like this? What do you think is fair? What do you think would be absolutely unfair? Am I just being cheap?

Here are my ideas thus far:

1. A giveaway cap. Either a budget (“I can only do up to $50 a month in shipping/purchasing”) or a quota/waiting list (“I can only accept 5 US names and 2 non-US names a week for paper swag mailings”).

2. A PayPal account where people can pay for US postage per swag mailing, with me eating the cost of non-US mailings. (I don’t like this option; it feels too much like accepting money.)

3. A SASE program where people can mail a self-addressed-stamped-envelope to a PO Box, which I will return full of swag. (I think this is the best option, but it is potentially cost-prohibitive for non-US fans.)

One of the things I’m most proud of as an author is the fact that many people have told me “you are so kind and giving.” I’m always amazed when people act like I’ve gone out of my way for them, because I always feel like I’m only extending common courtesy. I want to continue that trend, and I want to make as many people happy as I can – but some icky “real life” things have to be taken into consideration, too. So I’m really looking forward to your input on this issue!

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Twisted Freaks Need Love, Too – Part III

And we’re back for the voting round!

For those of you coming in new to this contest, here’s the gist. A few weeks ago, I asked for suggestions for twisted, weird, freaky, disgusting creatures and concepts – things people could never imagine being presented as a YA romantic hero. Out of the many amazing suggestions, I chose five to build upon. Originally I was going to present these young gentlemen as one-page concepts, but I ended up writing four pages for each. That’s how amazing these ideas were to work with. I tried to take each one seriously and do a bit of world-building, too.

So now, you get to read and vote for your favorite twisted freak until February 21st! The gent who gets the most votes will snag the person who suggested him:

  • A signed copy of the Dearly, Departed audiobook – 17 hours of actors pretending to be my characters! (Yes, actors - there are five narrators, so the entire thing sounds like a vintage audio play.) I figured this was a little different, as the book’s been going out a lot.
  • Signed posters, bookmarks, stickers, whatever else I feel like throwing in there.
  • CANDY!
  • Maybe some other fun stuff, too? Hmm?

So, without further ado, here we go. Links to the individual stories are below, followed by the polling area. I hope you enjoy!

 

Camel spiders, suggested by Stella

Living brain, suggested by Flo

Cordyceps fungus, suggested by Bri M

Flesh-eating disease skeleton, suggested by Alyssa

Twisted earth elemental, suggested by Elie

(Legal foo: All stories and characters © Lia Habel 2012.)

 

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Twisted Freaks Need Love, Too – Twisted Earth Elemental

This story is for the 2012 Valentine’s Day contest, Twisted Freaks Need Love, Too. All stories and characters © Lia Habel 2012.

Elie’s original comment: “Lia, I wasn’t going to enter this, but for some reason my brain kept reeling through ideas all day long. So here it is…

a creature (man or something) that did something horrible ? to be cursed by the Earth. Here are his characteristics…
*hair of snakes or dead vines
*face/body formed by squirming insects like maggots or roaches
*fire raging inside him (like Earth core) that causes him to have breath of rotten Earth (compost) and frequently belch rot.
*To the touch he is cold as ice (poles)
*Eyes (only thing that shows his humanity or emotion) swirling blue like the oceans.

Maybe that could provide some inspiration… Happy Writing.”

 

Until that day, the only trees Emily had been familiar with had been the skinny, smog-choked saplings that were planted along the streets of Manhattan, their roots constrained by cages. Central Park always seemed a world away, a place she was unwelcome.

But now she was there.

And a tree was talking to her.

Mama Roach was right. The fumes would get to you after a while.

“Are you all right?” the thing demanded again, bending over her. Sparks exited his mouth alongside the words, as well as some foul, sickly sweet odor – an odor she was used to. Rot. Emily backed up, crab-style, but couldn’t get far – he’d wrapped something around her ankle, something that felt ice-cold through the thin material of her dirty socks. “Did they hurt you?”

“Hurt me?” Emily couldn’t tear her eyes from the thing long enough to spatially reconstruct what had just happened. “You mean the boys I was with?”

“Yes. One of them picked you up. Was wrestling you.”

“He’s my brother. They…” She tried to steady her trembling voice. “We were passing through. I had a Slim Jim…please, I have to go find them…”

The thing’s eyes seemed to widen in surprise – well, that’s what it looked like, at any rate. Emily tried to calm her racing mind, to take him in. She’d apparently been “rescued” by a confused tree man…boy…thing. He wasn’t terribly tall, but well-shaped, with a narrow torso and strong arms. But his skin was rough, dirt-brown, flaking – like bark. And it appeared to be lit from within, at least in the area of his stomach. Like a log kindling.

And then there was his face. Beneath a mane of twisted, dead vines, inside a vaguely knot-shaped area, sat a face that could’ve disappeared into the garbage-littered N-train tracks, because it looked for all the world like it was composed of insects. It glittered endlessly in the light from the nearby street lamp, glassy wings and chitinous bodies wriggling wherever his expressions dictated – raising the corners of his slit-like mouth, closing like eyelids over his eyes. And those eyes…they looked like miniature worlds. Like cold, blue oceans.

For a minute, Emily found herself staring. She didn’t return to herself until she felt her ankle being freed, and thought to glance down. A vine. It was retracting into his leg, like some kind of worm into its hole.

“What are you?” she whispered.

The thing didn’t respond. In fact, it turned and took off, leaving her alone beside the park pathway. For a second Emily sat there in wonder, unsure what had just happened.

The next moment she was up and giving chase, because she had to know.

Emily was a skilled hunter of track rabbit – rats. They formed a whole food group for her people, the homeless who lived miles below Manhattan, in the secret warrens alongside and below the subway system. She could see well in the dark, she was fleet and never stumbled, and so she put those skills to use aboveground for the first time, rushing after the thing. “Hey! Wait!”

He didn’t. He seemed determined to get away. Emily hopped rocks and ducked tree branches as he fled deeper into the undergrowth, away from the lights, away from her brother and his friend. Her lungs burned, her legs ached, her rotten sneakers and black pigtails flopped around annoyingly, but she wasn’t about to let the thing off so easily.

After a life of hardship, she’d just been presented with her very own goddamned fairytale, and she wasn’t about to let it slip away into the night like some kind of two-bit vampire.

As she took a massive, sucking breath, forcing herself to push on, she found herself flying through the air and smacking into the ground again. Gasping, she realized that the creature had sent out a snare of vines, and she’d run right into them. It stood beside her once more, growling. Honestly growling. “Why are you following me?!”

“I’ll leave…if you tell me…what you are,” she panted.

The thing withdrew the vines, all of them whipping angrily. “You little fool. You don’t know, that’s the point. I could kill you.”

“You saved me…before. Or thought you did. Sorry…for extrapolating.”

The thing blinked with a pair of roaches. “Extrapolating?”

“Inferr…forget it.” Mama Roach and her books were far away, now. Pushing herself to her feet, Emily shook her head to clear it. “Just tell me what you are. I’ll go. I won’t tell anyone. Trust me, even if I did, no one would believe me. I’d just be another rambling homeless person.”

“Homeless?” The thing held still for a moment, then stepped nearer. There was little light, and it was harder to make out his face. The smell was the same, though. “I don’t think your people have a word for me.”

“Then use ten.”

The thing growled low again. Emily couldn’t help but admit that the sound was oddly attractive – it sounded ancient, for some reason. Like the settling of the plates in the earth, like the roar of a volcano. “I was human once. I acted the fool, and was cursed. Now I guard this little plot of land, watch all the earth around it die. Satisfied?”

Emily, amazed, tried to piece this together. “You’re some kind of…spirit? Earth spirit?”

The thing stepped closer and reached out for her hand. His hand was harsh, rough – his bark-like covering not at all fleshy. And he was so cold. “Do I feel like a spirit?”

“No,” she admitted, looking into his eyes again. “When did this happen to you?”

“Centuries ago.” He let her go, and appeared to be thinking. The insects making up his face scurried about, fast as lightning, like calculations at the heart of a computer. “Then they called me Cage.”

“Cage?” Emily finally caught her breath. “I’m Emily.”

“I don’t care.” He turned his back to her. “You must go.”

“Why? I mean…”

Pain entering his voice, he declared, “Because I live alone. It was meant to be that way.” This simple reason given, Cage, the elemental, the spirit, the living compost pile, whatever he was, took off again.

Too tired to pursue, Emily sank down to the earth and stared after him, her face hot.

Her summer had suddenly gotten a whole lot more interesting.

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