Get the Shovel. We’re Done Here.
So. I’ve reached a major milestone. I’ve watched 100 zombie movies.
I’m not about to stop. I definitely want to keep going. I mean, I’m not tired of them yet. And it’s a great way to kill time at my last remaining day job.
Before I go on, though, I’d like to do one or two posts reflecting on my methods, my choices, things I’ve learned, and some highlights from the experience. But first, some stats!
– I have watched 8491 minutes of zombie footage.
– Or 141.5 hours.
– Or 5.9 solid days.
– I began this project on July 3rd, 2009. I logged my 100th review on March 20th, 2011. This means that I’ve spent 632 days on this project so far, during which I watched approximately 13 minutes of footage every day, or 94 minutes per week. 632 days works out to about 90 weeks, so I watched approximately 1.1 movies per week.
– The time I spent watching movies constitutes approximately .9% of the total time I’ve been running this project.
– The shortest movie, B-17 (which I did not count towards my 100 movie goal), was 5 minutes long. The next shortest, Thriller, was 15.
– The longest movie, the original Dawn of the Dead, was 126 minutes.
– I marked 29 movies out of 101 as being favorites, or roughly 28%.
You can see screenshots of my official movie log. Click to view larger versions.
Now, it’s time to evaluate a few things.
In my introduction, I stated that I was not going to attempt to create the be-all-end-all zombie movie review site. Other sites have done that far more skillfully and passionately than I could ever hope to. Instead, I planned to write just a few words about each movie, enough to prove (at least to the average reader) that I viewed it. My goal was simply to watch as many zombie movies as possible. Quantity over quality.
Overall, I think I’ve achieved this. I took the vast majority of the films I watched seriously enough to at least consider what they were contributing to the canon. There have been a few instances where I’ve found myself critiquing certain movies, but in doing so I attempted to keep my remarks brief and to leverage them into discussions about larger issues in zombiedom. Furthermore, in those instances where I’ve found myself talking at length about the quality of a movie (or simply whether or not I liked it), I tried to limit myself to positive comments. And if I really detested a movie, I just tried to be as fair as possible. Rarely did I stoop to using such words as “stupid” or “suck.” When I did – it was probably deserved. As in, I likely edited my post several times, and could find no more descriptive and/or intelligent words for what I’d watched. My brain had been turned to goo. And even then, I tried to find at least one thing to compliment. (There are a few movies that I was almost nothing but negative about – I take responsibility for those.)
And yet, I’ve hesitated to do even this. Since getting my publishing contract and becoming an Official Author, I do not publicly talk about books – Stacia Kane had some posts about this a while back, and I agree with almost every word of them. I do not strive to be kind to my fellow writers because I fear burning bridges; I strive to be kind to my fellow writers because it’s a matter of respect. Plus, you know, I’ve seen Theater of Blood. And I’ve worked in retail. I know what happens to people who are overly criticized.
I feel the same way about my fellow zombie creators. I don’t work in film – if I did, I would not review films – but I still respect those who use film in order to tell stories. Behind every horrid homemade or student production is someone who loved it and believed in it. Behind every B movie that’s so-bad-it’s-bad sits a group of people who had the time of their lives making it. I don’t want to disparage them, or the time and effort they put into their work.
Additionally, I don’t want the zombie lovers of the world to see me as someone who thinks her zombies are above reproach, the only perfect specimens – “Your contribution to the genre is stupid and no one wants it; mine rules.” Ha. I’m the first to admit that my zombie crew is silly and tongue-in-cheek and far from perfect – because no characters are perfect. No story is perfect. No creator is perfect.
I love zombies. I love people who create zombies. And I’m going to keep watching zombies. I mean, I haven’t even gotten to Shaun of the Dead yet! Or Re-Animator, or I Walked With a Zombie! So everyone out there who works in film – you need to make more zombies for me to watch!
Anyway, I’ll wrap up with some of my favorite highlights.
Lia’s Unified Theories:
Lia’s Unified Theory of Nazi Zombies
Part One of Lia’s Unified Theory of Living Zombies