Tall, Dark, and Dead – 63 – Undead or Alive

Title: Undead or Alive
Year: 2007
Director: Glasgow Phillips
Leads: James Denton, Chris Kattan, Navi Rawat

Favorite quote: “Did you invent the wheel, Elmer? No, you didn’t. But you’re gonna take personal credit for Western civilization? Your monkey ancestors happened to be born in an area with abundant founder crops; big, slow ruminants, and a lateral continental axis that allowed for the development of agriculture, writing and maritime technology. Not to mention cross-species plagues, which are the real weapons of European conquest. So you invented smallpox; nice going!”

Thoughts: Chris Kattan? Chris Kattan.

The opening montage features a lot of text, which at one point reads, “Don’t worry, the part where you have to read is almost over.” Clearly this movie has an opinion about its audience, and that opinion is not very positive. Even though it was obviously a joke, I felt a little insulted, just because the film itself is such an openly shallow, crude comedy. (Although, as noted above, there are a few absolutely priceless lines of dialogue.) The movie also features a couple of good sight gags, like a zombie eating brains with a spoon (Indiana Jones, anyone?).

One thing that struck me about this movie, though, was the lack of zombies. Now zombies either are, or are not defined by the Horde. Usually they are defined by the Horde – the mob of death-dealing dead that erases the faces of its individual members and intimidates with size and sheer overwhelming force. A mass of mindless, thirsting humanity. Unless you’re going Anti-Horde in order to highlight the plight or heroics of a few zombies, you need a good-sized Horde. And on that score, this movie failed to deliver.

I did like the happy, reunited zombie family at the end, though.

Links: Undead or Alive at IMDB

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