Tall, Dark, and Dead – 60 – Masters of Horror: Haeckel’s Tale

Title: Masters of Horror: Haeckel’s Tale
Year: 2006
Director: John McNaughton
Leads: Derek Cecil, Leela Savasta, Tom McBeath

Favorite quote: “Science!”

Thoughts: I have some stats to share!

I have watched 60 zombie movies, or 5087 minutes, 85 hours, 3.5 solid days.
21 out of 60 I counted as favorites, or roughly 30%.

Wow. Math is so enlightening.

Anyway, Haeckel’s Tale. Victorian zombies! I literally jumped up and down at the very idea, since that’s what I write.

Then the story turned into a zombie orgy.

Seriously. Zombie orgy.

I’m still not sure if there’s some hidden message intended for me, there. If you want me, I’ll be curled up under my covers, crying.

The story deals with a necromancer, which is a little different – I haven’t seen many necromancers thus far. I really liked where they took it, with the necromancer giving up units of his own lifespan in order to reanimate his subjects, establishing a chain of codependence with the dead. Unfortunately for my sanity, one of the projects the necromancer undertakes (ha, ha) involves bringing a particular gent back to life every year so that he and his still-living wife can get it on.

I reiterate  – THERE IS A FREAKING ZOMBIE ORGY AT THE END OF THIS MOVIE. I was totally unprepared for it. FOR THE RECORD, I did not seek out softcore zombie porn. I SWEAR.

Then it got weirder.

I still can’t decide whether or not zombie procreation  – as in, dead dude having a baby with his living wife? – is more or less incomprehensible than the idea of vampire procreation. I really, really don’t want to think about it, anymore.

I write zombie-living romance, but zombie procreation? Icky. Maybe I’m normal, after all.

Links: Haeckel’s Tale at IMDB
Haeckel’s Tale on Wikipedia

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