Tall, Dark, and Dead – 19 – Return of the Living Dead Part II
Title: Return of the Living Dead Part II
Director: Ken Wiederhorn
Leads: James Karen, Michael Kenworthy
Favorite quote: “Oh Lord, forgive me! The dead…I thought you were finished with them!”
Thoughts: Whereas Romero’s movies repeatedly talk about governmental incompetence and lack of preparation, the Return series that Russo and O’Bannon created likes to talk about governmental incompetence and conspiracy.
That noted, whenever a zombie flares up in these things? The rain is ready and waiting. Maybe there’s a weather conspiracy, too? ‘Cause that’s really bloody convenient.
Anyway – let’s talk tactics, this time around. According to this installment, electrocution is the way to destroy the zombies without creating more toxic fumes. Let’s think this over. According to ROTLDIII, the reason Return zombies want brains in the first place is because they get some kind of kick from the electricity present in the neurons. (In ROTLD, the half she-zombie talks about the fact that brains ease the pain of being dead – so one would anticipate that what they really want is serotonin or something, but apparently, one would be wrong.)
So…shouldn’t they want to be electrocuted? Shouldn’t it turn them into, like, zombie Chevzillas? (Do not tell me that Crank 2 was anything other than pure, unadulterated Awesome. I will punch you in the face.)
My head hurts, now. I need a jump.
Do have affection for Russo and O’Bannon’s zombies, inasmuch as they are clearly sentient, articulate, and intelligent. And the animatronics in the Return films are like, Jim Henson for corpse lovers.