Tall, Dark, and Dead – 8 – Nudist Colony of the Dead
Title: Nudist Colony of the Dead
Director: Mark Pirro
Leads: People who should be ashamed.
Favorite quote: “This ain’t the end of it! I’m coming back! And when I do, I’m gonna kick some holy a**!”
Thoughts: Okay, so this was how the evening started out.
Me: Want to watch Nudist Colony of the Dead with me tonight?
Me: It’s a musical!
Ninety minutes later, my soul was official forfeit.
Okay. We’re doing this. Deep breaths. Okay.
So. Nudist Colony of the Dead is an anti-religious sexploitation comedy that suffers from insufficient amounts of either nudity or humor. Normally this is the sort of thing I can really get into, believe it or not. I love B-cinema. But in this instance the movie just came off as really, really stupid. The sort of stupid that makes you question all you’ve ever valued and loved.
Really…I’m still somehow unconvinced that what I watched actually exists. Maybe I’ve finally lost it.
As nailbat-to-the-head-worthy as the film is, it does feature some good writing – mostly the dialog. (With all the Christian-slamming in the film, I get the impression that some Redditors would really get a kick out of it.) And the effects aren’t too bad. As for the actors…I really can’t believe how serious some of the actors were in this thing. I honestly don’t know whether to applaud them or facepalm myself to death.
The zombies really aren’t worth mentioning. Or thinking about. If pressed, I guess I could say something about curse genesis, magic, or religion/spiritualism – which is odd, given the overall tone of the movie. (And I’m not religious, myself, so it’s not as if this film offended me or constituted an assault against my faith – it was just so. So. Dumb.)